How to Aunt
I don’t know how. I attribute that to the fact that I was only 5 when I became an aunt for the first time. The youngest of nine, I grew up with my eleven nieces and nephews in a relationship more like a cousin.
Through the years, I’ve tried to be a good aunt — even a great aunt now that my nieces and nephews are having children of their own. We’ve kept in touch, been estranged, then gathered back together for weddings, births, funerals. Recently, I’ve gotten into the habit of sending cards to all my family members for Valentine’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Often, I wouldn’t hear back but that wasn’t why I sent the cards. I was reaching out to say, “I love you.”
In 2006, I took on the leadership of planning a family reunion. Six of my nieces and nephews showed up with their families for a wonderful evening of sharing and a day of joyous fun at Disneyland.
This year, I decided I’d add in a summer ‘touch’ to fill out my calendar of family cards. It was on my mind and even my to-do-list but got easily pushed aside for business and the renovation, renovation, renovation of my home.
On June 30, I got a surprise when I opened an envelope that I could see was from my nephew John. The cover of the folded card was a summer theme with an image of a lighthouse and seagulls flying around it. Inside the card was his message printed in large block printed capital letters JUST SENDING SOME SUMMER GREETINGS YOUR WAY with John written in script.
The last time I got a piece of correspondence from John, 47 and living in Crescent City, California, was a Christmas card about ten years ago. It made me happy to receive his card and I wanted to send him – and my other family members – a card as well.
On Monday, July 30, I finally decided on green note paper with a blue trim and matching envelopes. I found my Henderson family list printed out from Outlook and put my navy roller ball pen next to the stack of cards sitting on a box of photo paper on which I would print pictures of my renovated home.
Tuesday afternoon on July 31, I got a call from one of John’s sisters that he had passed away. Calling other relatives to tell them of John’s death, each one I spoke with said, “But I just received a card from him.”
I’m putting my supplies back in a drawer. John’s summer card has said it all.
My leadership lessons from this are many. What’s more important is that I realize the importance of continuing my education on how to aunt.