Working to Be a Leader

As a young child, I’d get up on Thanksgiving morning with the smell and look of wonderful food filling my senses.  While Mom was busy cooking a 22 pound turkey, making homemade Parker House rolls (the best I ever tasted), and creating the rest of our traditional meal, I’d watch the Macy’s parade on the TV.  Later, I’d join my sisters in getting the table ready for dinner that could include seven or twelve or more family members and friends.

Mom was born in New York City and left in 1920—before the Macy’s parade started in 1924.  Living in Los Angeles on what could have been a pretty warm day, we watched the thematic floats roll by on the TV screen, marching bands from around the country perform, and large balloons guided by strong ropes and stronger Macy employees float along the parade route of onlookers looking as if they were freezing.

Maybe that’s the reason that a couple of years after I moved into an appartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan just two blocks from where the Macy’s balloons get blown up on Thanksgiving Eve, I was attracted to seeing the characters come to life.

Snoopy in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2008

Specifically, I began inviting friends over to share some food and drink then join me in walking over to see the ballons.  There was something magical about looking at flat pieces of heavy-duty plastic grow into a form that brought memories and a smile of delight to those watching.

The idea for having my ‘annual’ event was also routed in the Christmas Eve party that my sister-in-law Jean had every year.  It was a time to feast but also to join together to sing Christmas Carols and catch up with those that I hadn’t seen for a year.

Maybe it was 1991 when my annual Thanksgiving ritual became a part of my life.  Each year after that, the guest list got bigger and my home fuller with clients, friends, neighbors, and family.  In 2002, I didn’t have a party since I was getting ready to remodel my home; the following year, my sister Alice died a few days before Thanksgiving.  I was sick with exteme grief and loss when a friend called to tell me he had ticket to the reviewing stand of the parade. 

This year, I continue with my holiday ritual, remembering Mom and Jean, and their influence on my own Thanksgiving party, the many people who have shared the gathering with me, and the new generation of Hendersons who are now being educated on the magic of the balloons.

May the holiday be happy and your Thanksgiving meaningful.

On Monday evening, November 9, I attended the Mary Travers memorial service at Riverside Church near the Hudson River at 120th Street in Manhattan.

Mary Travers, the Mary in the Peter, Paul & Mary folksingers, activists, and life enrichers, died in September from complications of  leukemia.  However, her spirit was very much alive when Peter, Paul, and a host of celebrities, politicians, spiritual leaders, and friends spoke about her gifts as a singer but most of all her passion and dedication to helping others.

After a video montage was shown on a large screen above the altar of the gothic church, Peter and Paul took center stage to welcome over 1,200 in the audience who came to pay tribute to the role Mary had played in their own and others’ lives.  As the singers warmed up their guitars, they said how hard it was to sing without Mary’s voice and invited the audience to sing her part while they sang harmony.

The song they chose was quickly recognized and as I joined in singing “Leaving on a Jet Plane,” I felt chills go through my entire body.  I, like everyone else it seemed, knew every word in every verse from decades of hearing it sung in person or on the radio or through speakers.

The New York Choral Society

I first saw Peter, Paul & Mary in-person when I was a student at the University of California at Berkeley.  And their songs followed me through my career.  Mary with her singing partners had been performing for nearly 50 years at concerts throughout the world, fund-raisers for human rights causes and political candidates running for office, and gatherings on the Mall in Washington to lift their voices to support Martin Luther King, Jr. and others who brought light to areas of growth for America.

President Barack Obama sent a note that Peter read to the audience, former President Bill Clinton appeared in a video, and former presidential candidate and senator George McGovern got up to thank Mary for her role in his career.  Another former presidential candidate, Senator John Kerry (D-Massachusetts) also went to the podium and told us how a fund-raiser early in his political career where Peter, Paul & Mary sang was the turning point to staying in a political race and continuing on his path.

To see a full list of speakers and performers, click here.

The evening together lasted four hours, exhausting emotionally and physically since like others in the audience we were up and down to give  standing ovations, sing along, clap, and sway with the music.  Whoopi Goldberg offered moments of laughter when she went to speak and said to the effect, “Forget those serious tunes.  I like ‘Puff the Magic Dragon.’  That’s my favorite song!”  Also, near the end of the program when Peter noted that the potted plants on the altar could be taken by anyone in the audience (Mary would have liked that no cut flowers were used, he said), before Peter finished his speech Whoopi got up from the front row, walked to a ledge below the stage, and picked up a potted plant then returned to her seat as the laughter gently rolled back and up from those who could see what she had done to the back row of the balcony.

Toward the end, Judy Collins sang “Amazing Grace” and triggered my thinking about the role performers play in society and the larger culture.  Mary’s legacy lives on not just by the lives she changed but by her commitment to use her power and influence in causes that promoted justice and harmony.

A leader’s legacy is not built in a day.  It is earned over years of positive contributions to the greater good.  I can’t say that I supported every cause that Mary did.  But I can say that I know the legacy she leaves is one that will inspire me to make the most of the life that I have in using my gifts as an educator and coach to help others reach their full potential.

On Sunday, November 1, over 42,000 registered runners in the New York City Marathon sped, ran, walked, or limped through the streets of the five boroughs. As the premium runners raced their way through Staten Island, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and Manhattan, the majority of runners ran at a slower pace.

Runners nearing the finish line

As in years past, I like to watch the runners as they near the finish line, specifically those who take four or more hours to finish the 26.2 mile course—a course the leaders had run in just over two hours.

This year, I found a place behind a barricade just past the 26 mile sign in Central Park.  That vantage point gave me the opportunity to slap hands with runners zooming with enthusiasm that they were close to reaching  their goal or dragging with focused determination that they would reach the finish line even if they had to crawl.

Many of those going past had their names on their t-shirts, a way to tell the total crowd of over a million cheerleaders along the route that they wanted a shout out of, “Hi, Amy (or Frances or Tim or…). Keep going. You’re doing great.”

One man was more direct with not just his want for a shout out but a need to be encouraged. On this man’s shirt was a directive, “Yell, Hi, Art!”

Of course, I, as did others around me, did yell, “Hi, Art!”

My working to be a leader lesson from Art:  identify what you need from others then make it clear how they can fill that need for you.